someone just sent me a message saying that I have a sophisticated sense of humour
hHHHHAHAHAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAAAA
(via huzzelzebub)
And if you want to remember me, then you can do one thing. That’s all. One thing.
(Source: cloysterbell, via huzzelzebub)
MY PARENTS ARE COMING HOME IN...
MY PARENTS ARE COMING HOME IN HALF AN HOUR AND I DECIDED TO PLAY A PRANK ON THEM
THEY ALWAYS JOKE WHEN THEY LEAVE ME HOME ALONE “MAKE SURE YOU DONT KILL ANYONE” AND WALK AWAY LIKE ITS REALLY FUNNY
WELL ITS MY TURN TO BE FUNNY
SO I LIKE COVERED ALL OUR KNIVES IN BLOOD AND PUT BLOOD ALL OVER THE SINK AND KITCHEN
AND I MADE A BLOODY TRAIL TOWARDS THE GARAGE
AND WHEN THEY COME HOME THEY’LL FIND ME IN THE GARAGE WITH A GIANT BIN BAG STUFFED FULL OF CRAP
AND I’LL JUST BE SITTING THERE
GRINNING
WITH A KNIFE IN MY HAND
ok so MY DAD AFTERWARDS WENT TO MAKE TEA WHILE I GOT RID OF THE PAINT
SO THEN MY DAD MADE TEA FOR ME AND HE PUT THIS HUGE PIECE OF LEMON IN THE TEA SO I WAS LIKE OK, HE ALWAYS DOES THAT
BUT WHEN I WAS ABOUT TO FINISH MY TEA THE PIECE OF LEMON STARTED TO GET IN THE WAY SO I DECIDED TO REMOVE IT AND FINISH MY TEA IN PeECE
THEN I SCREAMED AND NEARLY DROPPED MY FUCKING CUP BECAUSE HE HAD SOMEHOW GOT A PICTURE OF A SLUG AND STUCK IT TO THE BOTTOM TO MAKE IT LOOK 3D AND I AM FUCKING TERRIFIED OF SLUGS OK
SO THATS WHY HE PUT THE FUCKING LEMON ON MY TEA TO COVER UP THE FUCKING SLUG WHICH LOOKED SO FUCKING REAL
MY FAMILY IS FUCKING CRAZY
(Source: hogwartsfacebook, via coffeeandfandom)
I don’t think enough people remember that Grease ends with Danny and Sandy getting into a car and flying away
with zero explanation.
(via youcancallmepotter)
It can’t happen like this. After everything we’ve been through, Doctor. Everything. You can’t just drop me off at my house and say goodbye like we shared a cab.
(Source: whitelaws, via youcancallmepotter)
makin my way downtown
have you accepted jesus christ as your lord and savior
walkin faster
(via youcancallmepotter)
